Where is Your Heart?

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I would like to just put it ‘out there’ …. I’m not a blogger. (At least not yet!)
When asked if I would like to contribute to the weekly blogs on our church app, I had no hesitation in accepting the challenge (prompted by the Spirit??), yet here I am, two days late for submission, and NOTHING has come to mind; even though I have been asking Holy Spirit to direct my thoughts to what He would have me share.

 Don’t get me wrong; there have been little niggles, but nothing that I can sink my teeth into and just start flowing wisdom, and encouragement to all who want to read the latest nuggets inspired from above.

As I was walking upstairs to my office to sit down and write, just now, the one question that crossed my mind was, “Where is my heart?”

I’m pretty sure most, if not all of you have been there at one time or another, coming out of something that has shaken you to the core, that has made you look at the foundation on which you stand.

Strangely enough, I would say that in the years after recommitting my life to the Lord (after a failed first marriage), life seemed to be pretty good. Even in the hard times, I had an Anchor who I would run to during the difficulties and there was always a rainbow after the rain. Looking back, I would say that this period was my “baby” phase. (Only a matter of 25 years!!!!)
For even though by this time you ought to be teaching others, you actually need someone to teach you over again the very first principles of God’s Word. You have come to need milk, not solid food.

For everyone who continues to feed on milk is obviously inexperienced and unskilled in the doctrine of righteousness (of conformity to the divine will in purpose, thought, and action), for he is a mere infant [not able to talk yet]!

 But solid food is for full grown men (I’m thinking this means women too!), for those whose senses and mental faculties are trained by practice to discriminate and distinguish between what is morally good and noble and what is evil and contrary either to divine or human law.  Hebrews 5:12-14

The first shaking was when my second husband of 25 years passed away within days of a terminal cancer diagnosis. Amidst all the goings on, funeral preparations, etc. and a deep grieving, I was battling with what did I really believe about God. Truth! But one morning, in prayer, I rebuked the devourer and told him, no matter what he does, I will never stop believing in God, and in Jesus as my Saviour, it is a non-negotiable.

About a year later, after some Christian counselling by a couple that were part of a charismatic/ Pentecostal church, I was baptized with speaking of tongues! Although I am intellectually aware that God does not make mistakes, what has been a roller coaster ride since then (for the last 10 years) has me convinced at times that I was totally unprepared for this gift. But on the other hand, when I start to question myself, in the REALLY challenging times, this gift has helped to get me refocused as it is evidence to me that Holy Spirit is living inside of me, and no matter what is going on around me; I am His and He is mine.

Recently, I was blessed to attend a day conference with the guest speaker Charles Price who spoke about the challenge that pastors and ministers face. I believe that leaders do have a higher calling from God as they are the representatives of the Gospel to the general population; but I also believe that every one of us, (every human being) face these challenges in our own lives. The challenge of becoming ‘dry’. Going through the motions, going through the rituals. ‘Doing’ church, ‘doing’ Bible studies, even serving in the church, but our hearts are dry. We know what we should be doing, we are even compelled to do because it has become second nature. The danger at this point is that we become restless. Instead of going back to the Source of our peace, love and joy; instead of remembering that Jesus is our Friend, we get caught up in the busyness of life, getting distracted by the things of this world. Instead of serving out of the flow of the Living Water that pours into us, instead of first going to the Well of Living Water where we are refreshed and refilled, we are tempted at times because of busyness to do it on our own.

The authority on this, the answer, is always the Word which is the voice of the Living God!

Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life. Proverbs 4:23

But You, O Lord, know and understand me and my devotion to You; You see me and try my heart toward You. Jeremiah 12:3a  
And you shall love the Lord your God out of and with your whole heart and out of and with all your soul (your life) and out of and with all your mind (with your faculty of thought and your moral understanding) and out of and with all your strength. This is the first and principal commandment. Mark 12:30

So, as for the question “Where is my heart?”….. I can say my heart belongs to my Maker; as beat-up, broken, and mended as it is, it is in the palms of His hands. It’s no longer perfect as it was in the beginning, but it belongs to Him.
Where is your heart??
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